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Perfect Surrender by Melyssa Jay

Perfect Surrender

by Melyssa Jay

Changeling Press

eBook ISBN: 06178-01984

Victoria’s pretty much given up on finding the perfect connection with a Dominant. After all, who wants a woman who’s walked away from a well-known and respected Sir and brings a male submissive along as part of the bargain? But sometimes finding what you want is the easy part, and surrendering to the moment is the difficult part. How will she be able to find love and have a fulfilling ménage relationship with two hunky and completely different men when her pride threatens to get in the way? Does she have the kind of courage to admit past mistakes and believe in second chances?

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Chapter One

“This was a mistake.” Ben shifted closer to press his muscular body against hers. A frown of doubt marred his mouth. “A big fucking mistake.”
Purposely giving the deliciously handsome young man beside her the cold shoulder, Vicky kept her gaze on the engaging Jethro Downs as he lectured on the use and care of whips. The presenter had both a law degree and expertise in the BDSM community. Such an overachiever. Briefly, he demonstrated the marksmanship of two-handed whip action. Such a showoff. “And whose mistake is this?”
“Mine.” Ben eased back into his own chair. “Mine, dammit.”
“Yes. You wanted to attend this conference.” Unwilling to display her emotions, she nodded slightly. She worked at keeping her hands calm in her lap so her insecurity didn’t show. “And you had to attend this specific workshop, so here we are. It’s clear I’m far too lenient as a Mistress.” And maybe, just maybe she’d wanted to attend this conference and this workshop. In any case, even supposing she had every right to attend an event of like-minded kinksters, she shouldn’t have ever agreed to come here.
Her blood raced as Jethro’s dark, mysterious gaze returned to meet hers time and again. His nearness awakened a buried passion. He looked so fine in polished I-don’t-give-a-shit shoes, and tailor-made dress clothes in harmonizing hues. Still, he wasn’t over-matchy. No. His dress shirt and colored socks had been purposely chosen to complement each other. The pocket square in his dress coat made her smile. Even in a denim sports coat, he’d never forgotten the elegant touch.
She moistened her lips. Jethro was a sharp-dressed man. It’d been more than five months since she’d last seen him. In that time a few gray hairs had appeared at his temples. Her fingers twitched to run through the strands. Jethro was a fine-looking man.
Heat rushed to her clit. Her attraction to the dominant still stirred her desire. As he spoke to the attendees she ogled his tall, athletic build. This late in the evening, scruff covered his pale jaw line. She remembered how he’d get irritated at having to shave twice a day to stay clean-shaven.
Hmm… Brunette or blond, she’d always had a thing for white men.
“Lady…” Ben’s thigh rested alongside her crossed legs. “You should’ve told me.”
That got her attention. “I did. I was completely open about my past.” Not only Mistress and submissive, they’d been lovers for a full two months now. Ben deserved to know all she had to share. So she’d left out Jethro’s given name. She’d rarely used it anyway. To her, the man had always been Sir.
It was that simple.
Or that complicated.
Unable to handle the emotion brewing in Ben’s green eyes, she looked away from him and avoided Jethro’s gaze as well.
There was no turning back the clock. Things had gotten serious between them. Her chest constricted as regret weighed heavily. She should’ve never left the man the way she had. He’d always been so sure about them. He’d always been so damn confident… in everything. But she’d been so damn scared of completely losing herself in another person. And in a man she wasn’t always sure about. At times Jethro could be cold. So clinical. Cynical. So very different from Ben’s open and giving nature.
Jethro was city born and bred; Ben was country at heart. Jethro fucked like a madman; Ben made love like a god. Jethro had dominated her; Ben submitted to her.
Arousal stirred hotly. Now was not the time to do a comparison analysis. Vicky straightened in her seat. “Boy, pay attention. I’m likely to give you a quiz later.”
“Yes, Lady.”
For a long moment, she admired Ben. Gathering her courage, she focused on Jethro. She’d allowed her subbie to talk her into coming here, and it was time she admitted it. “Ben…”
His warm mouth pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder. “Yes, Victoria?”
“I should’ve warned you.” She turned her head to face him. His green gaze regarded her for a quiet moment. “I needed to face him.”
He sighed. “I know.” He placed a kiss on her mouth before leaning back in his chair. “I know.”
Attendees asked questions. The charismatic Jethro interacted with the audience as he discussed the differences in whip types and the art of “cracking.” Arousal heated her blood. She’d loved being Sir’s canvas. She’d always enjoyed the exchange of energy they had and the exchange of power. She’d loved being forcefully handled, restrained, directed, and tied up by him. Unfortunately, they’d never gotten around to bringing whips into their play.
Butterflies danced in her stomach as the workshop progressed. It couldn’t end soon enough. The muscles in her neck tensed as Jethro wrapped up his class. He was courteous with his thank yous and goodbyes. As the group disbanded, Vicky stayed put alongside Ben. They hung back as the room cleared.
“Relax.” Ben squeezed her hand. “Don’t expect the worst.”
“Thank you.” Since seeing Jethro’s name listed as a presenter on the event’s website, she’d anticipated the worst. Leaving had been so difficult for her. Time had passed but she imagined he might still be angry. Still, Jethro wasn’t anything like Ben.
Jethro didn’t hesitate in approaching them. Her heart beat with apprehension as he walked their direction. Of course he didn’t balk at the idea of facing her. As far as she knew, he’d never been one to avoid anything, not even something unpleasant. Oh, God. No turning back now. How much he must despise her now?
“Tori.” He nodded. “Pleasure to see you again.”
“Sir.” She stood in greeting, and Ben stood with her. She swallowed past a lump. Mind blank of the speech she’d prepared, she grasped onto one fact. He still used the nickname. That had to be a good sign. Maybe he didn’t hate her. Maybe they could at least salvage their friendship. She longed for more, but… “It’s great to see you.” And it was. Jethro looked good, and she’d missed him so much. “May I introduce my submissive, Ben Kohn?”
The two men shook hands and spoke a moment before Jethro once again gave her his attention. “I’m having a private play party tonight.” His gaze darkened. “I’d love to have you there.” He glanced at Ben. “Bring your boy along. Do you remember how to get to my home?”
She nodded. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good. Again, wonderful to see you.” He extended his hand to Ben once more. “Boy. If you two will excuse me, I’ve another workshop in a few minutes.”
“Oh, absolutely.” She stepped out of the way to let him pass.
“Private play party?” Ben wrapped his arm around her waist. “Said the spider to the fly.”
“Ben…” She tried to laugh past the knots of anxiety in her stomach. That’d gone better than she’d ever dreamed.

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