Amused and Amazed (Collection)
by Willa Okati
eBook ISBN: 978-1-60521-545-7
Drag Queen of Faerie: The course of true love just won’t run smooth for hunk-next-door Will Taylor, who’s in search of that special someone. All that focused energy attracts the attention of Queen Mab’s lesser-well-known cousin Mabbey, the Drag Queen of the Faeries.
Valentine’s Vow: Friends and casual bed buddies Thom and Ryan don’t buy into the whole “true love” spiel. They have a good time together. Why would they want more? Luckily for this clueless pair, St. Valentine shows them how to appreciate a good thing when they’ve got it.
Independence Day: The boys are back — and they’re at it again. Ryan and Thom have returned for some hot Fourth of July action, but their newfound romance may just hit the skids when it comes to coming out as a couple.
Straight Man and Coffee Guy: Straight Man is anything but. He just doesn’t have a sense of humor. And in a city with so many superheroes there’s no one left to rescue, his power is attracting the freaks — like Coffee Guy from the diner across the road, who has the power of the never-ending cup. Misfits in a mad, mad, mad world, they’re pretty much perfect for each other.
Will Taylor knew he’d let himself in for a world of hurt the moment his date of the evening made a move to grab his crotch and punched him in the balls instead.
“Jesus!” He doubled forward against the steering wheel, his eyes watering. Tried to speak, but his voice came out as a disturbingly soprano squeak. He coughed, and tried again. “What are you trying to do, Lewis? Make sure I never join the breeders?”
“Oh, hey, I’m sorry, Wally.” Lewis gave him a loose, easy grin and slid his hand upward, caressing Will’s cock. “I didn’t hurt you, did I, baby?”
Will bit his tongue. I’m nobody’s baby, and hello, hand in exciting new places! You don’t even get my name right, but you want to get up close and personal with my dick? I don’t think so.
Wheezing, he eased back and gently slid Lewis’ hand off the inseam of his pants. “Hey, you’re going a little fast there, don’t you think?”
“Wally, sugar, ease up.” Lewis’ snaky little hand slid forward again, rubbing the inside of Will’s thigh. “Come on. It’s a gorgeous night. See? Full moon in the sky. Clear as a bell. You can see all the stars.”
You can hear all the clichés… Will thought sourly.
Lewis’ hand toyed at the zipper of Will’s jeans. He’d known he shouldn’t have worn those jeans. Especially not on a blind date. They were old and worn, sure, but that just meant they clung to his ass and outlined his package more than a new, stiff pair would have.
And speaking of stiff… no action in that department, despite Lewis’ busy little explorer fingers. His cock lay quiet and meek as a little garter snake. Come on! Will scolded himself. Lewis is right. Beautiful night… hot — okay, semi-hot — man groping you. Get into the game, here!
“Maybe you’re right.” He tried to loosen his shoulders, shaking them out a little. “Just take it a little easier, okay? We barely know each other.”
“I know how to fix that, Hot Stuff.” Lewis’ tongue snaked out to flicker across his lips. “You interested?”
Will regarded him with a combination of horror and fascination. Okay, so the guy looked a little like a mix between an axe and a German shepherd, but what the hell, right? What could one little kiss hurt?
“Okay,” he agreed, his voice dropping just a little. “Let’s try the kiss.”
“Now you’re talkin’, baby.” Lewis unbuckled his seat belt and slid across the distance parting them. His fingers stroked up and down the length of Will’s still uninterested cock. “Let’s get things moving.”
His mouth met Will’s.
Will froze. Okay, he knew better, after twenty-nine years, than to expect stars and bells and whistles from a first kiss.
But was it too much to ask for no slobber? Or to hope for someone who didn’t have the enthusiasm of a shepherd just told he was free to have his way with the whole flock? Because once he got the green light, Lewis turned into an octopus with a wiggling, floppy worm of a tongue. A busy, squirmy worm of a tongue. A tongue that…
Oh… God, Will thought desperately. The guy kissed like a happy puppy. Lick, lick, lick everywhere. He put his hands on Lewis’ shoulders, pressing him down. Sweet Lord willing, he’d let Will take a little control back.
Unfortunately, Lewis took that as a sign that his happening action was appreciated. He lunged forward, devouring Will’s mouth like a prime steak. Will tried to move with him, to put his arms around the man’s wiggling middle, to get his cock to do anything but lie there like a lump, but no luck.
“Oh, yeah, baby,” Lewis pulled back to murmur. “This is so hot.”
Right out of your wet dreams. And my nightmares. Damn, you kiss like a fifth-grader sucking face behind the bleachers.
Lewis rubbed harder at Will’s cock, pinching with his fingers. Then he stuck his tongue into the middle of Will’s mouth and set up an eager stroking. Will’s cock twitched once. Took you long enough! Come on, you haven’t gotten laid in what, months? Time to play, boy!
Slowly, his cock began to stiffen. Lewis made appreciative growling noises against his mouth and kept up the probing and poking with his tongue.
A little too excitedly.
Tripping off Will’s gag reflex.
Choking, Will lunged backwards, hit his head against the car window, and bit down hard, squarely in the middle of that questing tongue.
An earsplitting howl filled the car. “Howwy shid!” Lewis reared back, covering his mouth with both his hands. “What kin’ of fugging fweak aw oo?”
“Oh, crap!” Will leaned forward, wiping off his own mouth with one frantic hand and reaching for Lewis with the other. “Did I break the skin?”
“Bweak the skin? Oo neawy bit my ung off, oo astard!” Still covering his mouth with one hand, Lewis fumbled for the door handle. “Sick pwick! Cad even ged it up!”
“Hey!” Will reared back, offended. “Since when does it mean anything if I don’t get off by being felt up like a piece of meat?”
“Asshowe!” Lewis found the door handle and jerked it open. He scrambled out like his tush was on fire. “I’b gedding the fug out of hewe!”
“Good! Go!” Will leaned across the seat to yank the door shut. “I won’t be calling you back!”
Lewis turned around. Blood smeared his mouth. He looked like a homely vampire. “Caw me? The hew wiv that!” he spluttered. “I’m teawing youw number up and fwushing it!”
“Good for you!” Will yelled, slamming the door shut.
Lewis flipped him off. “Fug you, Wawwy!”
And he was gone.
One more blind date, down the tubes in the most spectacular manner ever.
Will sat in silence for a long minute as Lewis stomped away to his own car on the other side of the lot. Great. Just great. And that had been going well!
Okay. Only sort of well. But they’d had a decent dinner, even if Lewis didn’t have any idea what wine went with the really (Will winced) pricey surf-and-turf he’d ordered. And they’d gotten along mostly okay, except for the part where Lewis didn’t get any of his jokes. But he’d thought Will was hot, right? What with all the groping and the wiggle-worm tongue action?
Or maybe, Will sighed, Lewis was just as lonely and desperate as himself.
Fuck. He turned the key in the ignition and listened to his ancient engine rumble to life. After a moment, he turned it off. Groaning, he rolled down his window and let the cool night air wash over his face.
He gazed out, up at the stars. It wasn’t fair. He thought he was a good man. All he wanted was someone to love. Weren’t there any decent (and, yeah, hot) gay men out there who could love a simple, guy-next-door type like him?
Sure there were.
And wishing on stars actually worked.
He rolled his window back up, turned the key in the ignition, revved up the engine, and pulled out of his nicely secluded parking space to start the long drive home.
Far away and miles above, a deliciously divine creature in sparkly gold spandex sat up from his bed on a particularly fluffy cloud and cocked a gloved hand against one exquisitely pointed ear.
Was that a… wish he’d just heard?
Mabbey, Drag Queen of the Faeries, grinned to himself.
Now this one could be fun!